Colours in life...

I woke up to the sound of birds and brewed my coffee
As I sipped I had a thought, a thought too strong

Born as eldest and pampered most
Cared and nursed with lot of hope
Hope that one day I will raise and shine to reach the sky, glittering in the path well laid
I grew into a girl with abundant dreams to reach the sky and soar high
I learnt to lace my shoe and do my hair
At age of three that was too ahead
I carried my own satchel the mass was more than the fragile shoulder could bear
That made me strong as I moved ahead
I tendered the younger and bore their weight; they enjoyed the dance in sun and the rain
They made castle in sand ,I crafted their castle holding their hand
I let go off toys for them to play, I learnt to play right cards of life’s game
I went to school to learn, that taught me ways to earn
I went to Bank at the age of ten, to know what a fortune meant
I went up the attic to clear the muddle
Came down to find a puddle … a leaking tap
Took the rinch to tighten the gap
Only to realize I missed my nap….

I wonder what I did, in my pursuit to realize my dream
Where have the emotions run? In this dead rock
Did I get too independent, unable to connect?
Did I want to do it all alone? Or did I know It never could be done
Did I chase an unrealistic vision? A Vision to touch the sky
Have I lost hope, or have I lost the path
Am I too strong or am I a fragile rock
I know I am the wall too strong, but I also know that there is a force that holds the wall
I seek help from force above to guide the wall to stay strong for a little long

A Wall So Strong

Wall:

I stand here, tall and Strong....

Here comes the Landlord, paints me blue to divulge his pride.

Then comes the Landlady, throws some green just from envy.

Here comes the Son, colours me with crimson to adore the beauty.

Then comes the Daughter,smothers some brown to feel Contemporary.

Here comes a Little Boy to smear me with gold, to sense protection.

Here comes the Wind to trample over, then comes the Rain to rubble me down

Here comes the Sun Bright and warm to say " You are a wall so strong"

Paint me Blue & Paint me Green. Bring on Pink& Bring on Gold.

Blow the wind and Bring the Rain.

But I stand there, tall and strong because I am a wall.

Art of Acceptance & Appreciation

I aimed to soar high in the sky; I realized I had no wings. I learnt the Art of acceptance.
I looked forward to walk; today I can run. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I wanted to dive deep down in the sea and swim; I realized I was not a fish. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I started to read for amusement, today I read for knowledge. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I dreamt of toy house and ginger bread house, I realized life is not a fairy tale. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I longed for a happy family; I was blessed with compassionate family. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I dreamt of cruising the world, I realized I was no captain. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I feared the stage; today I face the crowd. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I solved math to be an engineer, I realized it was too complex. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I took up business administration; I became a successful HR. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I dreamt of making life in a country far, I realized it is beyond reach. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I dreamt for a home, I live under parents’ care and family of comforts. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I called for a long holiday on a distant Island; I realized it was too far. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I sought indulgence; I enjoy the comfort. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I feared wrong decisions,I made many. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I set out to become a strong individual, I gathered courage to face the world. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I wished for un-compromised friendships, I found new, but I lost many good. I learnt the art of acceptance.
I looked for love, found it bountiful. I learnt the art of appreciation.

I longed for friendship; in him I found love. I learnt the art of appreciation.


I hope to forget the past of life’s experiences that taught me as the art of acceptance.
I wish to cherish the moments which life brings in the form of appreciations.

Life is not a bed of Roses. While it taught me the art of acceptance, it also made me realize the value of appreciation.

Stock Taking!!! Its been a month ....

Its been a month since I last updated the blog

Its been a month since my old boss left and new one came!

Its been a month since I dedicated some time for myself

Its been a month of crazy travelling

Its been a month , I flew to Bangalore from Madurai booking my tickets at half past twelve in the midnight on the day of travel

Its been a month since I spoke some nice words to people who love me!

Its been a month since I learned something new

Its been a month of un-upgraded knowledge

Its been a month of hard work

Its been a month of peace and tranquility

Its been a month , my brother flew out and flew into the country

Its been a month of fights, misunderstandings and makeups

Its been a month of good and healthy discussions

Its been a month since I watched a good movie

Its been a month since my loved ones visited me

Its been a month of good shopping

Its been a month of spending good money on things essential and things unimportant

Its been a month of some search which i know not

Its been a month of mixed emotions, mixed feelings

Its been a month and now I am waiting for my payslip!

Days have passed with hopes of tomorrow dawning, there has been a mix of good and unpleasant things but hope still lies in these eyes to see a better tomorrow!

Beyond Imperfection

** Thoughts have just been spilt! There is utter randomness in this piece of write up, you may choose to ignore this post. Its my sheer frustration taking absurd shape.

Well, Its been quiet a while since I last posted! Is it that I am too busy with work that I have no time to post?, Is that i am tied up with life that I have no time for self or is it sheer laziness?

Well I still don't have an answer... While I ponder , there are bubbles of unconnected thoughts that strike the mind.

No! Its not the related answers for the question I started looking for!

Randomly I hit many thoughts,

Why is earth such a beautiful place to live in? Who created it?

God!? Science says Big Bang! but hold on!

Whats the reason for Big Bang? Who or what was behind Big Bang?

Well where did the concept of God come in? We have been all the while in total faith and belief that the person up above does exist in same existence as ours!

Well why is that we cant see him/her? Whats the power?... now its goes unconnected!

What is power? electricity? no! more than that? Qualitative? Quantitative? who was responsible, well we all know how it gets generated! Thanks to the human mind we know how to measure.... May be not completely!

who can define infinity?

I suddenly spurge to India... What about it? Well I am an Indian! So what ?...there are 1 billion+ fellow Indians... No Its not about that...

Its about the people who live in the country and still and not satisfied!

A mode of frustration sets in now! my heart just wants to spill all of those thoughts into words with no connectivity but sheer randomness I start!

I cannot sit through the conversations! - The lunch/dinner/coffee table where people rant about the country they belong to, they live, they survive, still see the sun , moon and the stars! breathe the same air as others...

Well what is that they complain about?

It starts at a very basic level of roads in India, the potholes in the roads?

I now wonder to think, have they ever for once thought how as children they must have enjoyed the joy of seeing a filled pothole after heavy rain?

if we never had potholes we would have never known what a puddle is? We could have never enjoyed our childhood splashing rain water accounted in the puddle, sailing the paper boats made from newspapers and pamphlets!...

so why is potholes and narrow roads such a big issue today and not yesterday, when we grew up in the same lanes playing galli cricket! Lagori! didn't they at that time wonder the roads and by lanes to be narrow? why are they complaing now? Because they have grown up? seen the greener pasture of other lands ? I still don't seem to get answer!

Their next latent crib is issue about infrastructure!

one say over the coffee table " Our cities infrastructure is so bad! There is absolutely no quality of work! See "XYZ" country. Boy , the city is so clean, pure and neat! and our CM says he would transform our city like XYZ! Does he even know what it takes to reach there? even in another 50 yrs we cant!"

So I wonder what is stopping you to try? and what the hell does this person want?

Well ! I know XYZ country is clean, neat and pollution free! what about it now? Does this person know what it takes to build a country which has a heritage of 5000+ years? ruled by thousands of kings and queens and how much it takes to stand together as a country and brave the odds??? Does this person have the faintest idea how many muliticultures exist within this one country? how many ethnic groups we have? Number of existing tribes in our forest? Well so what if the rest of the world think we are snake charmers? still we do earn our bread butter! we still do lead a happy life! we still do have families who care! we still have the same sun, moon and the air! We see day just the way rest of the world see it!

Yea, now the conversation slowly drifts to power! I mean Electricity! The next person now picks up this new idea of electricity! and here goes the rant " hey guys. know what there was no power yesterday evening! its so frustrating to have no power"

Yea! seconds the other! " all the work gets pending, u know i missed the sass bi serial yesterday because of it!"

Now its my turn to think... So what if there is no power? did we not eat because there was no power? did we forget to sleep? so what is the whole issue here? my thoughts jog backward how as a kid i really enjoyed these unscheduled power cuts! it only meant long chats with appa, amma, cousins, aunts and uncles till the power was restored, we sang our way to glory with antakashri's, word buildings, GK quiz... I didn't miss any fun, I was part of it all through!

why is that a power cut today such a big issue? are we so dependent on electricity? cant we survive?

Well answer is we certainly can! Just imagine how people survived centuries back with no power all day and night! I am certain we still can do it if need arises.

Is sass bi serials so important in one's life that you really forget to look beyond it??

Well these rant continues with political carnage, pollution, weather etc etc, I already know I am choking myself and cant afford to sit there any longer! Not that I didn't air my opinion! its only that people fail to look beyond!

Folks, all I want to convey is simple! " To find true happiness, look beyond imperfections! , you will certainly find it!" True Happiness does not exist in Luxury, State of Art Technology... It exist in each heart bundled as moments of bliss, experience it everyday, all through!

Just see and count all the good things we already have!

Instead of being happy and blessed, we rant and crib....Can you do something about it? change the system! Please go ahead and do! we support your cause!

Else if you are helpless like me, at least please don't turn down my country! Remember you still live here, you still breathe here! its your country, Its our country!

We certainly owe quiet a lot to existence and nature!Lets stay blissful!

The Day- It was!

Birthdays are meant to feel special, pampered and above all celebrate with grandeur. This year’s birthday had all these fragments neatly intertwined in a day! ( I thank god for all the good things I have)

As a young girl, I would always look forward for the month of April for it always meant beginning of summer vacations! No School, No studies, No home work but only 2 full months of fun and frolic.

Nestled in the month of April is the day for which I would make big plans as child, young girl and now a lady, for It is time to celebrate and mark the presence of yet another passed year on the homely planet!.

The D- Day usually started with a warm hug from my sister and wishing from all my uncles and aunts in the family.

As a little child I wore the most prettiest dress which amma would carefully pick for the occasion and I would also decide the dress which I would wear to the temple, at home and for the party in the evening.

If somebody walked past the home in the early morning hours of the D- day, they would surely realize that celebrations in the family was round the corner for aroma from specially prepared mysore pak with lots of ghee, sugar and love would attract everyone right from the Tharkari amma ( Vegetable vendor) to helper at home. They would eagerly wish me with love and care for the little girl growing up in the neighbourhood. With the most brilliant smile I would reply" Thank you" while I adored the dress and showed them the intricate lace work or embroidery on the frocks and skirts they would delicately feel the lace work with nervous hands not to dirty the priced possession of the child!

The day would be packed with excitement right from visiting the temple, seeking the blessing of the almighty& elders, distributing the chocolates & sweets specially prepared for the occasion by amma, inviting extended family members to join the dinner party @ night, chatting with cousins and jabbering unlimitedly with friends on the phone always assured a sense of warmth and feeling of belonging. I secretly smiled in the heart of hearts for all the care they showered .

I would crash for a siesta with a great longing for the evening to arrive.

Before even I could realize it would be time to feel like a princess. Dressed in the best attires with amma's permission and direction I would step out to invite kids in the neighbourhood for the party @ 7.

While I felt like a princess, frisked and danced the whole day, amma would be busy in the kitchen preparing the mouth watering delicacies for the evening. While I always had a condition that every delicacy be different from the previous year, amma would have a tough time comprehending to these demands, she would convince me on some and agreed on the rest ensuring that they are the best and her guests always left a remark for such a good meal.

Appa would come early from work just to be in time for the party while he carried home the fresh cream cake from Nilgiris which I would long for, always keen to know the shape of the cake ,how it looked, the colour of it and number of cherries and gems it was adored with ! He would advise me to stay away. I cherish these moments, a total bliss in itself.

As the clock ticked 7, the air would be filled with bursting of balloons, screeching for whistles and Birthday song, every time somebody in the choir would miss a line and the whole bunch of kids would crackle with laughter!

Gifts were given and taken with gratitude. With utmost curiosity all the kids would sit around the gifts and me being the proud owner would command which gift to be opened next with the curiosity of what the pack contained. While I played LIDO, Snake and Ladder and more games with the family and friends it would be time for curtains down on the day!

..........and Days have passed by and now for random thoughts flashes yet again… For there are such beautiful and blissful memories I can cherish for all through my life, live the childhood every single day and every moment is special .

This birthday rekindled all these lovely memories from my childhood, with a feeling of being special, showered with love and care, I think back on all the happiness that is around and how as mortals we seem to miss these little sacred fragments of happiness in search of the "Unknown..........."

A note before you leave this page.

Enjoy everyday for it is blissful in its own way! Lets try to appreciate little happiness and thank all those who make a difference to add to this happiness.

A big "Thank You" to all of you who have been a reason behind this happiness in my life and for making it vibrant and blissful!

Search for the lost glory!

Life, it seems is a journey filled with colors bold. I am told without these colors the journey is incomplete.

The journey started with a cry to mark the presence in the world, moments then filled with smiles looking at the stars, wanting to play with the moon, mumbles of unknown words with unidentified meaning while the heart yearned for nothing, with confidence abundant, as the familiarity set of known and unknown the days passed while the moments spread joy around for people, it expected nothing in return.

There were bright sunny days, some cloudy days while a few dull days nothing but the routine set it, heart which once spread happiness, bliss and love; now longer spread these through the presences- it felt!

Deep down in the heart still the moments of bliss is fresh and  confined to the space, while it loves, adores, respects through all these shades of life , it makes every attempt to share the shades with the known, unknown of human race.

It secretly cries while it makes a colossal attempt not to share with the world known the reason for those warm tears, those it is told are not meant to be showcased to the world.

It questions the nature “ Why Me always?” While it seeks a response, it gets none.

Deep down all it yearns is unconditional love and happiness, it cries out aloud to the nature “when I came to your world, I spread happiness, love and bliss, I brought instant smiles on all those charming faces which looked at me, Where has all this gone?”  Can you please return them to me?

With a hope to get lost glory it beats at a normal pace thud-thud-dud-dud...

Random Thoughts

I thought hard today, the harder I thought pleasant things filled the flow of thoughts.

Life-

The Past was beautiful

Present an experience of reality

Future a wonderful dream I would love to experience over and over ………

I am told that angels are not fantasy and they exist in real, they come as a passing cloud spread their charm and elegance and off they disappear. I experienced the charm, you appeared spread the divine message showed me the path of bliss…

I do not know how I met you in this journey of life, nor do I know the why’s! All I know is you appeared like a flash in the starry sky, made this life a beautiful journey to pass, an experience to cherish, taught me the art of hope, filled these eyes with wonderful dreams to accomplish and to see through the world!

You have always been there for me

You respect me, my ideas, my thoughts!

You adore me as an individual

You trust in me and my abilities

You pamper me like a child,

You protect me like a mother

You care for me as a friend

You are my pillar of support, my ray of hope, my confidant.

Life is a complete journey!

The deep-rooted secret “ Angel- Really?” is still unanswered. Yet the experience teaches me not to question the nature! For it is said "all that happens, is for good! ". I now know all that is coming is for good to build a beautiful tomorrow from all those wonderful dreams these eyes have just seen.