Appa....

Appa -

The moment you set your first gaze on me, you fell in love with me. I can’t remember how I felt L

You picked me in your hands, as I felt the warmth of love you placed a kiss on my cheek

I wrapped my little hand over your finger tight and you smiled setting confidence in me.

You made me stand on my legs, made to take the first little flight

When I feared the fall, you opened your arms and I landed straight into them.

You brought me toys, week after week on every Sunday evening took me to Cubbon Park, enjoyed the toy train rides with me

Bought be candies, when I clumsily smeared them around my face with a smile on your face and twinkle in your eyes you cleaned them for me making me look pretty again.

You held me like a doll, pampered me like pet, when I woke up from nightmares you cuddled me close to you filling in the sense of security.

You brushed my teeth, polished my shoe, put them on me and carried my satchel till school van while I cried and moaned not to go without you.

I waited for you at the gate waiting the clock to strike 5:30, amma’s calling for milk always went in vain. I waited with batted breath to hear the horn from your scooter. Marking your arrival I ran into the front climbed over pushing your hands which obstructed my entry, while with smile you took me around showing me the entire neighborhood.

You carried me on your shoulder and crossed the KRS dam just because I wouldn’t budge till you showed me crocodiles in Ranganthittu and color fountains in KRS.

(I remember it was  bus strike and you managed to carry your 7 yr old on your shoulder half way through Srirangapatna till we got a lift till Mysore)

I sat on your lap, narrated the days incidents with all patience you heard me out. My pesters to buy me new pen/box from the market were never ever turned down. While I still cried and moaned you never ever raised your hands. You enjoyed my tantrums and I enjoyed putting some.

You ensured you gave me top class education. You made me learn on my own, you made realize my follies, and you stood by me at the time of distress and helped me overcome my fear.

You made me stay independent, you helped me make and take decisions, and you induced a sense of confidence to face the world boldly with integrity.

You were my backbone, my pillar of support my everything, my whole world.

I backed on you for every small thing or big thing I did, and never ever once did you confront me. Your trust in me is so deep rooted even when I faulted you only showed me the ways of overcoming my shortfalls.

I really cannot comprehend the reason as to why you left me alone to brave this world so early when both you and I knew I was still not prepared to take this challenge, when I needed you the most.

Its already 9 months since you left us, I feel so void without you. I have many people around me who love me, care for me still I feel so void and lonely at heart.

I always long for those moments to come back

Where I sat on your lap, cuddled in your arms, argued with you, when you caressed my cheeks and said “Pavum Kolandai”, when you would come to me and say “Come let’s discuss or I want to discuss with you” when you handed money on every karthi festival with a smile and just the same blessing “All the best” year after year. Where you carried a glass of milk everynight to my bed and ensured I had milk with no drop to spare and carried back the empty glass to mom in the kitchen.

You are irreplaceable. Life without you is so void and dull.

I wish I had a little more time to talk to you, to listen to you, to feel your presence, to feel your protection, to feel your care, to get your love.... I miss you pa...I love you pa.

Mission Akkaravadeisal- Aadi Tiruvadipooram

With marriage people say life changes and priorities change. Well fact remains they are not wrong. A person like me who had hardly entered the world of kitchen can these days manage the basics of cooking comfortably with all ease. Of course the list goes one from Kareamdu, Koolambu, Mooru Koolamabu , Kootu, Kadaarrchi Paachadi etc etc. After all I am able to manage the tales of wedded life easily.



With all this came Aadi Tiruvadipooram, a very special occasion for the Tamilians and especially the Iyengar Sect, for on this day Aandal (Goda Devi) an incarnation of Bhoomi devi celebrates her TiruNaaksharam which falls on the pooram start in the month of Aadi.

This year it was on 12 Aug 2010, Thursday. Last year was quiet memorable as I managed to make a quick trip to Srivalliputtur, Janamastanam of Aandal and do the darshan.

Aandal takes a prime seat as one of the Aalwars and also being daughter of Peri Aalwar. She has sung Tirupavai a song of 30 hymns and Nachiyar Thirumozhi a song of 143 hymns in praise of the lord Sri Ranganatha.


Akkaravedisal is one of the many dishes that takes a lot of prominence in the history.
Aandal in her pursuit to marry Raangamanar,Prays to the lord at Thirumalirunjolai (near Madurai TamilNadu ) and promises to offer butter in 100 vessels and Akkaravadeisal (A sweet dish with mixture of rice and daal cooked in Milk with jaggery and ghee ) in 100 vessels to Lord of Thirumalirunjolai so the Lord may come in person and marry her.
On her marriage with the lord when she was unable to fulfill this promise, she seeks the help of Sri Ramanujar to help her fulfill this wish. Ramanujar fulfills this wish for her and she credits Ramanujar with title Anna ( elder brother). Even to this day Nooru Thade utsavam ( Koodar Vellam) is celebrated in all glory in Melukote.



Now that I have shared the historical significance on the dish and the day let me now share with you my days experience and recipe.
It being my first Tiruvaadipooram after marriage and me being a staunch follower of Aandal decided to make this special dish. After a hard days work at office I picked up ingredients on way back and made a special request to my aunt to let me use her kitchen. Thankfully my aunt let me experiment in her kitchen.

Thanks to google , I had managed to search various methods of preparation on the Internet while I also took help from mom and acquaintance's in Srivalliputtur to put together the recipe in its proper order.


To all the readers here goes the recipe
Akkaravadeisal- This is not Sakkarpongal or Kalebele Payasa as many get confused.

Preparation Time 2 hrs minimum ( Trust me, it took this long)
Quantity- Serves 6-8
Ingredients-
Rice- Washed and Drained-1/2 small Cup
Kadalebele/Kadale parapu/- 1/2 small Cup
Hesrubele/Paitham parapu / Green Gram- 1/2 small cup
Jaggery- 2 cups ( As per taste)
Ghee- 1/2 Cup
Milk- 1.5 lts
Cardamom Powder- 1 tbsp
Pachakarpoora- 1 small piece
Safforn/Kesari- 6 strands
Milkmaid - 6 spoons ( my version, optional)
Cashew- 10-12 finely cut
Almonds- 10-12 Finely cut
Raisins- 10-12


In a mixer coarse the raw kadlebele. Make sure the powder is coarse and not fine
Take a frying pan, add 2 tbsp of ghee and on Sim flame fry the coarse Kadlebele ,Heserubele and washed and drained rice till the rice turns golden brown. Make sure you do it in Sim flame so that you don't over fry.

Take a pressure cooker and added this fried mixture along with 1 lt of milk, mix well and 2 tbsp of ghee. Pressure cook it for 8-10 whistle ( This again would depend on the pressure cooker)
The mixture should be well mashed.
Now add 250 ml milk with Jaggery, milkmaid and keep stirring, add ghee, saffron, pachakarpoora, cardamom powder and stir well. Keep adding milk till the mixture is semi solid ( Neither too thick for a burfi nor too liquid for Payasam).
Garnish with fried Cashew, almonds and Raisins


Note : The dish should be in a semi solid state, add more milk to get the consistency or if the milk is more stir well so that the consistency is achieved.


Trust me it tasted real yum, and not to forget all those who tasted appreciated the akkaravadeisal and the maker ( That is your Truly Me) for all the good efforts and taste of course.

Thankfully my aunt was happy that I didn't ruin her kitchen at the end of the day. Even more importantly I was happy that my cooking skills have really developed and reached fairly decent heights in last 7 months. Kudos! With Pat on the back "Job Well Done".


In this whole process I learnt my lessons that nothing is Rocket Science except Rocket Science.

Happy Cooking and Keep Smiling.


P.S. Note of Thanks, My aunt for letting me use her kitchen, mom and aunt in srivalliputtur for helping me with putting the recipe in order. All my uncles and aunts for tasting it, Granny and mom for helping me understand the importance of the event and significance of dish and also helping me with some historical facts.

Please forgive me if any of the historical fact is misrepresented, I have just posted what I have heard from various sources and of course Internet. And million thanks to Google for being the best search tool!

Past and Present

Time just flies, the saying time and tide waits for none... must be true!

Its August now, mid year reviews are already complete on professional front and I thought it was time to do a self review on the year thats passed by and the year that is running.

Last year (2009) this time, dad was back home after series of hospitalizations and early this year he left us to destiny to manage our own lives.

This time last year, the groom hunt was in full swing, I married the love of my life early this year. Its irony I know, to lose my dad just weeks before the wedding. A fact too hard to accept till date.

2009 remarkably year marked the welcoming of my new car. Hoping yet another good surprise in 2010 ...( 4 more months for the next year to begin)

I blogged at an average of one blog a month, while 2010 had a compressed effect of one blog in months!

Met friends more often,movies were a sure hit with most first day first shows even for the big flops, while this year I have barely managed to watch 4...Bad thats very bad to score on!

Reading has been fairly consistent with average of 8 books an year and I am glad that I have managed to maintain with 8 closing in Early August.

Travel wise, 2009 had little to be explored while I managed with a decent bit 2010.

Skills acquired in 2009 were zilch except for polishing the writers nook, credits in 2010 seems good with cooking expertise and car driving taking the lead. 2010 also earned me an additional degree now thats the feather on the cap!

Farm ville and Facebook continues to occupy my space for prime time in both the years, while every time I login I recount my fathers words " Try accommodating me in your prime time".

UNO, was a family hit in 2009, Monopoly has taken the lead this year, amazing comeback after 10 years!

Father's day was memorable last year with my little nephew entering the world,this year it left me void without the presence of my appa.

Family outings and parties were abundant last year, this year the parties have been relatively low.

Exercise and workouts were prime focus in the past, while this year I cant recount any schedule. This now rings alarms with high priority notes flagged!

Shopping has been consistent with last year,while the kind of shopping has drastically changed.

Inflexible me in 2009, has now been shaped to flexible woman in 2010.

Tolerance and Patience which were in red last year have started turning to shades closer to green, maybe one can call them yellow!

Life's frequency has been quiet varied over the years.

Things have radically changed, priorities have so drastically shifted,time has just swept its boundaries, I have already become an year older, married over 7 months.

Wow. I am now amazed at the candid evaluation I have drawn from the year that passed and the year thats running, while I know its time to buckle up shoe on few activities.

Have fun, while I take the run!

Colours in life...

I woke up to the sound of birds and brewed my coffee
As I sipped I had a thought, a thought too strong

Born as eldest and pampered most
Cared and nursed with lot of hope
Hope that one day I will raise and shine to reach the sky, glittering in the path well laid
I grew into a girl with abundant dreams to reach the sky and soar high
I learnt to lace my shoe and do my hair
At age of three that was too ahead
I carried my own satchel the mass was more than the fragile shoulder could bear
That made me strong as I moved ahead
I tendered the younger and bore their weight; they enjoyed the dance in sun and the rain
They made castle in sand ,I crafted their castle holding their hand
I let go off toys for them to play, I learnt to play right cards of life’s game
I went to school to learn, that taught me ways to earn
I went to Bank at the age of ten, to know what a fortune meant
I went up the attic to clear the muddle
Came down to find a puddle … a leaking tap
Took the rinch to tighten the gap
Only to realize I missed my nap….

I wonder what I did, in my pursuit to realize my dream
Where have the emotions run? In this dead rock
Did I get too independent, unable to connect?
Did I want to do it all alone? Or did I know It never could be done
Did I chase an unrealistic vision? A Vision to touch the sky
Have I lost hope, or have I lost the path
Am I too strong or am I a fragile rock
I know I am the wall too strong, but I also know that there is a force that holds the wall
I seek help from force above to guide the wall to stay strong for a little long

Irutu kadia experience

For those of you who are not acquainted with Tamil, Irutu means Dark and Kadia refers to shop. In whole put together it refers to Shop with no light or Dark shop.

Life has been pretty hectic over last few month, so many things to prioritize, so many things to action, both professionally and personally. Random Checklists, Mobile organizers with notes tapped on, sudden flash in the brain have now become my routine life. Travel has also become an integral part of this new life which changed so suddenly. I guess I moved from one phase to another rather too quickly.

Last weekend, we (V and me) chose to spend time with V’s parents in his hometown Tirunellveli.
I got some amazing insights from my super smart husband as to how the name was coined with also some references to history. Nell in Tamil refers to Paddy and Velli is fence.

Legend says that there lived a Tamil Brahmin in this town. He was a priest in the temple which was covered in Bamboo forest. This humble man prayed and worshipped the god ritualistically .There was time when the city witnessed famine. Being very modest he would collect paddy from people and give it away to people in need. On a fine morning he spread out the paddy to dry under the sunlight and went for his ritual ablution in the river. Suddenly a thunderstorm broke out and it rained heavily. The Priest was worried about the paddy he had spread. He ran to collect it but to his surprise he saw was nothing short of a miracle.
Not a drop of rain had fallen on the paddy he had laid out to dry. It is believed that god himself protected the paddy in priest's absence.
Since then, the city has been called Tirunellveli -- 'Tiru' meaning respectable, 'Nel' meaning paddy, and 'Veli' meaning a protective fence.
In other words, the etymology relates to the city having paddy fields as a protective fence.

Coming back to my experience, we landed in Tirunellveli on Early Saturday morning with temperatures soaring high, for a Bangalorean like me it was taking me straight from the refrigerator and microwaving me at 120C.
We took a local auto to reach home. Something that really caught my eye was the Autos which had doors on both sides. (Protective gates to ensure that Passengers do not fall) After all bargaining on fare with the Auto Drivers we sat in and started witnessing the hustle bustle on our little tour homeward.

V’s parents were earnestly waiting to welcome us. We went in freshened ourselves with hot cup of freshly brewed coffee. Later in the morning we started to Callvoy about 30 mins drive from home. Drive was an exciting experience with both sides of the road either had the banana farms or paddy fields well laid. All I could relate to was to my little virtual Farm in Face book which I religiously maintain and tend.

Calvoy is probably one place very carefully chosen by nature to experience god. A forest like experience with absolutely no human interference with a large pond (Though it was dry, being peak summer) with a small shrine amidst nature. We finished our Darshan and backward journey was filled with similar experience except that summer heat soared high with every passing minute. The only thing on my mind was to drink, drink and drink water.

Coming home was like entering a haven after an exciting but tiring journey.
We rested and started towards the Nelliappar temple located in the heart of the city in the evening .This temple is steeped in tradition and Known for its spectacular sculptures’.
Before we entered the temple we decided to purchase the Tirunellveli Halwa.

A sweet dish made primarily from wheat and sugar. Golden brown in colour with a jelly-like texture and heavily coated with ghee gives it its distinctively greasy appearance. Halwa is said to owe its uniquely rich taste to a special recipe of this region, blended with the renowned sweetness of the Thamarabarani river.

I was told the best place to buy this authentic halwa was from the famous Halwa stores Irutu Kadai (Dark Shop) around Nelliyappar Teample.
The name Irutu Kadai of the former store derives itself from the fact that the looks of the store have been kept unchanged from the date it was started Dark with no bright lights. Till date, there are no bright electrical lights or even a name board to display the shop's brand or name.

We entered the area around 6:30 pm quiet some light from the setting sun. I saw a huge crowd, crowd and assumed somebody had taken onto a brawl. I inquisitively asked V as to what was happening, he gave me a broad grin and said it was the Famous halwa stores and the crowd was to set hands on the mouth watering halwa.
Well now this was a huge task, to break into the crowd and purchase the halwa. I was wondering If ever I would be able to do all the pushing and pulling of people just to set hands on halwa. V instantly eased me and suggested he would face the crowd.
He went while I saw him in all bewilderment if I would ever get the halwa in all the commotion that was happening there, would V be safe in such a mass of people.
He is scuffled and skimmed his way through the front; I waited in all anticipation for him to return.
He had huge smile, a smile of content on winning the combat for those delicious halwas’. While he did this, I also tried to take as many pictures as possible of the famous stores and the good old crowd that gathers everyday morning and evening just to taste this halwa.

With sweet thoughts we entered the Nelliyappar temple –A Massive master piece.

A Wall So Strong

Wall:

I stand here, tall and Strong....

Here comes the Landlord, paints me blue to divulge his pride.

Then comes the Landlady, throws some green just from envy.

Here comes the Son, colours me with crimson to adore the beauty.

Then comes the Daughter,smothers some brown to feel Contemporary.

Here comes a Little Boy to smear me with gold, to sense protection.

Here comes the Wind to trample over, then comes the Rain to rubble me down

Here comes the Sun Bright and warm to say " You are a wall so strong"

Paint me Blue & Paint me Green. Bring on Pink& Bring on Gold.

Blow the wind and Bring the Rain.

But I stand there, tall and strong because I am a wall.